Getting Your Spouse On Board With A Budget

Having a budget you have to stick to can be quite burdensome. Sharing finances with your spouse and trying to stick to a budget can be near impossible! This is typically due to the dichotomy of a relationship. There is going to be a Saver or a Spender in every relationship. So the big topic most couples struggle with is how to get both people on the same page to ensure the budget will work?

Don’t Create the Budget Alone

One of the common mistakes couples make (typically the saver) is to have only one person set up the budget. They then expect the other person to abide by it? Imagine if you will, telling your husband or wife they can only spend a certain amount of money every week. It works perfectly, right? WRONG! To avoid having doors slammed, loud yelling, or sharp objects thrown at you, sit down and talk with your significant other. When you each come to a decision on how YOUR money should be spent as ONE family unit, life will be much easier! Communication in a relationship is a new idea, I know, but it works!

Have Weekly Budget/Family Meetings

Once you have the general understanding of how your family will have the budget work, it is pertinent to maintain it. Similar to how you have to maintain a car to ensure it will run efficiently, so should you maintain your working budget with your spouse. Make sure you are both calm when coming together for these meetings. Sometimes the stresses of life can interfere with having a calm and constructive meeting. Instead, you will tend to see frustration or irritation with certain changes or decisions which need to be made with the budget, even though those feelings do not stem from that meeting at all.  These meetings can be quite beneficial. They provide a set time to discuss current or new expense from the week or upcoming in the weeks ahead. They also allow you both to sit down and fine-tune how your budget is working.

Do Not Make Assumptions

Most of us have heard the analogy of what happens when we ASSUME something. The same is fitting in a family budget. You each are going to have your own ideas of priorities for the budget. Do not assume the other person’s priorities are the same as yours. You should each make a list of the items you want to discuss and be open-minded when listening to the other’s ideas.  You should each be willing to make compromises as well. Your items on the list might have to wait if your spouses are more important. Remember, just because you have to wait, does not mean it won’t happen. 

Hold Yourselves Accountable

Having the perfect budget and holding weekly meetings is only about one-third of the battle. The rest of it is sticking to the budget. This also means being able to HOLD the other person accountable and to BE HELD accountable. These two are by far the hardest and most humbling of the process. Although it might be easy for you to tell someone else they are screwing up the budget, it will be ten times harder to be on the receiving end. No one likes to mess up. It is even worse to be told by someone you love that you have screwed something up. You each will be a giver and receiver at least once in your relationship. Remember to be nice! It should not be treated like a criminal act when one of you slips up. It should, however, be addressed when one of you is repeatedly ignoring the budget. In the end, though, you each share the finances, and you each should have equal rights to those funds. 

Know This Is An Investment

Setting a budge up for yourselves is a huge step forward in becoming and staying financially free. Don’t give up when things get tough or you don’t agree on stuff. If you are planning on staying together with each other, you are likely going to plan to share finances. It will not happen overnight, and there will be some hurt feelings along the way. However, creating this solidarity with your spouse for your financial situation will be one of the best investments your family can make!

Every family is different. You all may choose to NOT share finances, or you may choose another approach. These tips have worked for our family, and will definitely work for you. Relationships can be made more difficult when there is the added stress of finances. If you use some of this advice, you can hopefully remove some of this non-essential stress.

Until Next Time…..